24th Ramadan (1/1)

There was this one time, Aunt Zheng had told me about ten days before Eid when I was little.  On these ten days, laid a few odd nights, and at one of them, Allah has made Laylat al-Qadr – The Night of Decree or Power – in this month, which is better than a thousand months. I ask everything about that night and along with Mum, we discussed like some kind of forum.You might assume that I’m some Muslim girl who has a loose grasp on Islam. I don’t even cover my hair although it is a must and even, I’ve held a huge responsibility towards myself. Yes, I’m still a child that’s facing her teen-hood. But it isn’t an excuse for this case. It’s like, the self-awareness that tells, urges and insists me to follow the obligatory hasn’t come yet. I don’t have it, indeed.If I don’t have that important reason to change and I simply comply, I feel like a cake without proper base – like someone who commits faults and hides herself in her veil. Just because she wears the head cover, people impression will be always great on her, even though she’s just like those Muslim girls out there who don’t cover their heads. She is a fraud. I don’t want to be like that. Because for me, the head of my soul comes first. Interior is a shield when the exterior fails to defend me. Somehow.I still remember Mum and Aunt Zheng say that on those nights, we are like competing to worship Allah S.W.T and make rewards – solely for resignation to the will of Allah and our goodness. Unfortunately I’m not in the place to claim that night. I don’t know when this restrain will end. Oh Allah...what a challenge. In account of that, I practice myself to make dhikr to Allah S.W.T and salawat (a prayer for Prophet Muhammad) as much as I could.Lunch break is an hour more, but at this hour, the whole school are called to gather at the main hall, where the Election Day is carried out the other day. The teacher in charge is going to make an announcement for the Student Council President. It is a tradition, calling us out of nowhere and announce. Usually, the one who get the second highest vote will be chosen to be the Second President or preferably called Vice President. Seriously, the system confuses some students like me. But it will always be cleared out later, so no worries to me, nevertheless.“The best candidate who deserves to hold the title of the Student Council President for the next semester, who also gets very high votes is,” there is a rustling of the papers on the podium when the old teacher corrects the glasses that he’s wearing and continues, “ Fang Yilun. Let’s give a round of applause for this student.”The whole hall echoes with clapping hands and the hustling of variety of reactions storm through. I clap slowly and smile amongst the hundreds kids at the new leader who strides to the stage and share some words to the audience. To me, he is somehow, looks like Yixing in his calm state – with a glance.After Yilun ends his speech, he climbs down the stage and gets attacked by the kids (high presumably his voters) with congratulation and boy-boy hugs. The speech is followed after with another announcement regarding the second president who will take the current when he’s on duty outside of school like, representing the school for liberal contests or something. It’ll happen most of the time. I assure this.“While the vice president for Student Council organization falls to,” another paper rustling thing is caught into the microphone, “Zhang Yixing.”I’m currently grinning in a surprise like ‘wow’, and clap against my palms, competing with the others. The roll seems even fussier than the first, regarding that Yixing is indeed the mister popular. He keeps bowing all the way to the podium, flashing his dimple modestly and receives his first duty besides a normal student at the school.The sudden gathering eventually pushes to an end. Chun deliriously pulls me to follow her.“Let’s go, Minha. We should congratulate Yixing.”“Hey-” In a matter of second, I’m shoved forward with all of her might to which direction, I’m not sure. The only thing that I’m sure of is the whizz vision around me. She is the one that leads the way and also the one that halts out of sudden, making me bump my cheek on the crook of her neck. God.“What-”“Shh!” She silences me once again, bringing our body latched to the wall as she peaks towards the end. Only then I hear clear arguing voices on the other side. Perhaps?We turn dead silent and start listening to every word spat out of their mouths. I can definite that there are a boy and a girl.“You’re the one who badmouth Chun and now you’re asking me to pair you up with Xiumin?”What the... What’s with those familiar names? Don’t tell me that, that girl is Lien.Chun glances at me and I blink. We frown in wonderment.  “I’m just asking a little help. You know him well enough to determine his-.” The same tactic.“Useless!” The male voice shoots furiously. “Dream on because you’re out of my league. Come on Lien, I know exactly why you’re doing this. You want to make Chen regrets for dumping you. Tell me I’m right.” The way he snickers is just reminded me of someone that I’ve ever argued with before.While the girl is in fact, her.“It’s not like that!” Her tone finally rises higher. “Chen misunderstood me. And I don’t even have fucking time to explain everything because he had gone back to his regional state, Tao!” She starts to waver.At the mention of Tao’s name, Chun’s body freeze – rigid and stricken. Though, her expression is vague in my point of view. I shake the life back to her by poking her shoulder gently. You must be strong, Chun. Everyone knows it’s hard.“Then by backtalk Chun about her interest towards Chen is part of your explanation?” Tao continues shooting on.What the...fake. Lien brainwashed Tao about Chun interests in Chen while the reality just screamed that Lien lost Chen while Tao, who was about to accept confession from Chun, was actually waiting for Chun and he knew it all along. God, this is so complicated.  I can’t even to contemplate about Lien situation properly.“I have to! If not you aren’t going to go on behalf of me.”“Too late. I found out your plan fast. You actually use all people around you, you use us. Just for your own good.”“I’ve no choice!” She yells. “I lost Chen.” She sobs.“You shouldn’t let Xiumin involve in this. I warn you. Don’t ever involve him in your little game, miss.”“I’ve a crush on him for real.” She talks softly, yet in a rage. That’s the thing that I manage to hear.“You better not.”“And... I try to use Xiumin to impress Chen, that I can lead a way better life after he left me.” Her voice unexpectedly is muffled. “I failed to.” A silent sobs eventually breaks into the unstoppable one. It seems like Tao starts to tolerate with her, since he’s too – quite.“No matter what you do, you’re going to piss somebody off. You cannot please everybody, even a person.” An airy voice echoes nears, flipping fact like an unfold summary.Do I hear thing besides me? I do, though. It sounds so near.I aimlessly glance behind and Yixing face appears right across me. My eyes automatically rounds – flabbergasted – and I look down at his bending knees as if to match our head level, and back to his face. Yixing puts his index finger across his lips, while the dimples of his threaten to make an appearance. His eyes slightly twinkle, amused.I hesitantly lean backwards and bump Chun in the process, totally losing the remaining ear-spying, making her turn around. I don’t since when Yixing has kept up with us.“Yixing, I don’t know you join us!” She perks up, whispered-squeal. “Congrats!”“For joining both of you?” He quirks an eyebrow, blurting almost straight away. I burst a hearty chuckle listening to his obliviousness which is just adorable. Chun as naturedly as she has practiced explains the truth. Then Yixing finally pushes an ‘oh thank you’ out of his mouth.“I know this is my entire fault!” A drawl makes us whip our head together to the direction of the end of the wall. We all can hear her. Lien cries a heart-wrenching weep, silenced once in a while with her relentless hiccups.My heart suddenly falls deep down, sinking as if I’ve ever experienced her situation, a situation where it is nothing but only your fault that is obvious. The soft gradually takes place inside me, reminding that I actually don’t have the heart to pull revenge or something even wicker that that, to her – even though – she is the one who manages to blow my top and the same person who manages to get on my soft spot.“I can’t take this anymore.” I push myself off of the wall and set my eyes square on her, approaching the pitied one on the ground, dirt on her knees and tears on her face. No matter how much sin she had committed to people around her including me, I still find the tendency to protect her from receiving all humiliation alone.Bending my left leg, I touch her shoulder, gently. “Lien...”Trembled, she looks up to meet my gaze. She’s a mess. Her eyes are like a glistened glass that shimmer regret and resentment.Virtually, Islam has taught to forgive and forget people around you when they do wrong – the rest is lent to Allah S.W.T He is the almighty. He Decides the best. We’re in no place to judge, even though we work as  judges for real who settles trial, but in no place to settle Allah rules. “Min-Minha.” She croaks weakly.  "I'm sorry..."I wash her face with a comforting look and smile tenderly. “I forgive you.”The world surrounded me spins silent and perplexed as if a grand radiation is passing by. But in reality, it doesn’t destroy us. We’re just destroyed by our own actions.I pull her up, standing on her own strong will and come into rooted Tao with an unreadable expression on his face.“What the hell are you doing here?” It is what the first thing that comes out from him. I purposely bit back my laugh and just get the feeling to bump his bicep with my fist. Ya Allah, I do it for real.“Chilling.”As if I can hear Chun scoffs at my answer, I look back and see her nowhere in sight, fleeing faster before situation evilly catches her. And Yixing, looking as level-headed as possible, appears to the bulge eyes of Tao.“I command all of you to go back to your respective classes.” Little, I hope that Xiumin isn’t the other party who is watching this. He isn't bound to even acknowledge this. I think, I’ve just done a huge favour for myself. Today is the last day of school, and tomorrow is the beginning of summer break. I’m sure other students will be so excited to dive deep into their coming haven.On the first floor, we can witness that the Art Club is having a celebration with paper cutting. I’m thinking if we can hold a farewell party at the end of school today.I wish to forget yesterday, the bygone who has forgotten me already. While, sweating over tomorrow isn’t worth it since I haven’t even met. Instead, I want to open my eyes, and my heart to a truly precious gift; today.  Today only comes today. Not tomorrow, not yesterday.