Chapter Nine (First Half) (1/2)

Seohyun stares at the door intently as she holds the door knob tightly. Her heart was beating fast but she shoves that familiar feeling away by shaking her head lightly. She closes her eyes and let out a deep breath upon opening it again. ‘You’re doing the right thing.’ She mumbled. A small smile escapes her lips. She nods to herself. ‘Geure. You’re doing the right thing, Joohyun-ah.’ She whispered to herself before opening the door. Her heart almost skips a beat when she saw someone upon opening the door. “U-Unnie..” She stuttered. Tiffany was just passing by looking for Seohyun when a door from her right side suddenly opened. She was ready to greet whoever will come out but her eyes widened in surprise when she saw a familiar face. Seohyun was obviously surprised to see her there too. Her mouth hang open when she remember the people that she saw standing by this door just few moments ago. ‘I just saw YongHwa coming out of this room a while ago. But what is she doing here? Were they together? But I saw him with ShinHye ssi.’  Tiffany thought to herself. She immediately shoves her thoughts away when she saw Seohyun’s face. ‘Did she cry?’  Putting all her questions and confusion aside, she smiled at the younger woman in front of her. “Oh, Joohyun-ah!” She said pretending to be calm as if she didn’t notice anything. “I’ve been looking for you. The show is about to start and your stylists are looking for you. Get ready, okay?” She said trying her best to sound normal. “N-Ne.” Seohyun answers nervously. She  immediately turn around to head to their dressing room which is just two doors away. Tiffany watches her walks nervously. Seohyun was about to open the door of their dressing room when Tiffany calls her. “Maknae.” Seohyun stops on her track before slowly turning around to look at her. “N-Ne?” Tiffany walks to where Seohyun is standing. “Is everything alright?” she finally asked when she stops in front of her. Seohyun swallowed a hard lump on her throat as she look at Tiffany who is staring at her worriedly. “O-Of course, Unnie. Go ahead, I’ll be there in a while.” She said smiling trying to hide her nervousness but Tiffany knew her very well. She knows if she’s really smiling or if she’s just faking it. This time Tiffany is sure that she’s faking it. She heaved a sigh before patting the younger woman’s head. “Ahrasseo. I’ll go ahead.” She said giving her a warm smile. She looked at her again before finally turning around to walk away. After a few steps, she turns to look at Seohyun’s back who is now entering their dressing room. Just by looking at her, she knew there’s something wrong. ‘This couldn’t be Taeyeon’s shouting at her a while ago. It must be related to YongHwa and Shinhye-ssi. I saw them by this door a while ago. Did they talk to Maknae?’ “No. That’s impossible. What am I thinking?” She said to herself shaking her head gently. She heaved a sigh before she finally makes her way to the stage. She walks out from that place with a confuse mind and Seohyun’s look still bothering her. She know there’s something wrong but whatever it is, she know that Seohyun will tell it to them when she’s ready. She knows because she always does. She never hides any secret from them, or so they thought. ‘You’ll be fine Maknae. We know you’ll be fine.’ She thought to herself before joining the other members on the stage to prepare for the show. “Where is she?” Taeyeon asked. “She’ll be here in a minute.” She said trying to smile. She didn’t say anything else since she already turned her lapel mic on. Taeyeon knew there’s something wrong just by looking at Tiffany’s expression but she will deal with it after the show. -=-=-=-=-=-=- “Anneonghasaeyo!” A cheerful Seohyun came out the stage bowing to everyone while smiling widely. Taeyeon gently shakes her head. ‘She’s faking it.’ She thought to herself as she heaved a deep sigh. She has been with the eight girls for a very long time. If there’s someone who knows them well, that would be her. She knows almost everything about them, she knows if they are having a hard time or not just by silently watching their action. Whenever they are having trouble over something or if they have problem, she can easily tell but she never asked them about it, they always tell her what was bothering them. They trusted her so much that she doesn’t need to force them to tell it to her. She doesn’t interfere with their decisions unless it’s needed. It might not be obvious as she doesn’t show it to them often but Taeyeon cared a lot about them more than she cared about herself. Most of the times, they may have misunderstanding, they would yell at each other, hurt each other’s feelings  but at the end of the day, they would patch things up because they are family. Ever since their debut, they never treat each other as a simple colleague; it has always been a family. A family that you can rely on in times of need. A family that will never turn their back at you when everyone does. A family that will fight for you when it’s needed. A family that would protect each member. That’s SNSD, they are more than just a girl group, fans may be aware of how close they are but there’s more to that closeness behind the camera. Taeyeon, being the leader of the group would always set aside her personal matters for the girls. She is fine as long as her eight sisters are happy. For SNSD, Taeyeon was their great leader and sister. They are grateful for everything that she has done. And with the latest happening to Seohyun’s life, Taeyeon knows that she was not alone feeling worried. She was not alone feeling scared, all of them felt the same thing for their maknae. They know she had a hard time; it was a miracle the younger woman survived all the trials in her life. Seohyun was a survivor and a fighter in life, that’s what they all believe in. But despite what happened, she wanted to give the guy who broke their maknae’s heart another chance to prove himself. Taeyeon knew that YongHwa was sincere when he told her she would get Seohyun back and she trusts his words, she was just disappointed that the guy seems to move so slow that it’s frustrating her. Some of her members aren’t like her, some of them don’t trust him that much, and even Tiffany, the person who used to be very close with him still doubts him. She can’t blame them but if he will not make any move, she doesn’t know until when she can be able to protect him against her sisters without hurting their maknae’s feelings. She doesn’t know until when she can convince them that he is still a trustworthy guy, after all. She looks at Tiffany who was eyeing Seohyun with a worried expression. She holds her hand and grips it tightly. Tiffany turned to her when she felt her hands. ‘It’s okay.’ She mouthed at her. Tiffany nods and smiles as an answer before taking a deep breath watching Seohyun’s every move. Seohyun greeted everyone as she came out the stage all smile. She saw how her Unnies are looking at her as if she was the strangest person they have ever seen but she ignored their looks and continues to smile to everyone as if everything is fine. The room is filled with loud cheer when she came out, she waved to everyone in the audience which made the noise even louder. She bowed to the guests and staffs as she makes her way to her seat where the rest of SNSD are seated. “Oh! Anneonghasaeyo!” The staff greeted her back cheerfully, oblivious of what happened at the backstage. She bowed to the staff as she continues to walk to her assigned seat. “Are you okay?” YoonA asked her the moment she sat comfortably handing her the pink blanket to cover her legs since she’s wearing a skirt. She was covering her lapel mic. “Ne.” She smiled weakly. YoonA just give her a gentle nod. “Okay.” She said patting her head. She didn’t ask her any further since she knows that Seohyun is being careful since she’s now wearing her lapel mic, everything that she said will be heard around the studio. “Oh?! Anneonghasaeyo, Hyungsoonim!” Seohyun stiffened, her eyes widened in surprise upon hearing the familiar voice. She wasn’t surprise that he was talking to her on stage but she was surprise as how he calls her even with his lapel mic on. 'Is he crazy?!' She thought. She composed herself before she turned around slowly to face JungShin. She smiles at him awkwardly when he finallty sits beside her.  “O-Oh..N-Ne..Anneonghasaeyo!” She bowed nervously. “Woah! Jinjja! I’m really honored to sit beside you today. How are you? It’s been a long time, right?” “N-Ne. I-I’m fine.” She said almost a whisper. “I follow all your activities in America, actually, we all do. We watch all your shows there. You’re really doing great there! I’m so proud of you!”He said while tapping her shoulder. ‘Can he just sit quietly?! Seriously!’ She thought while still smiling awkwardly to the guy. “Ah… N-Ne. Kamsahamnida.” She managed to say despite her awkwardness. “Seohyun ssi!” Jungshin was about to say something when the PD called out Seohyun’s name through megaphone which made Seohyun grateful. “Please stand in the center. We will start on my cue, we’ll open the program with your performance.” The PD added. “Ne!” She stands immediately to follow the PD’s instruction. She saw her Unnies cheering for her so she gave them a warm smile. She was about to take a step when she saw the other CNBLUE members arrived including YongHwa, the three bowed to her, she even saw YongHwa smiling at her but she ignored it, she bowed back to them before walking to the center of the stage. The crowd became loud when she finally stands in the center stage. “We’re going live in 3…2…1 and Cue!” She heard the Director yelled. The whole studio was filled with cheer and applause. She smiled to everyone as she holds her microphone tightly. The lights turned off then suddenly the spot light turned on to where she is standing. She closes her eyes, she needs to focus on her performance and put all her dilemma aside. She can always deal with them later. She  took a deep breath as she opens her eyes when she heard the music started playing. The show begins with Seohyun singing her winning piece at World Star Champion. ( Click here to listen to the song. Just imagine it was Seohyun singing. LOL) There were nights when the wind was so cold

That my body froze in bed

If I just listened to it

Right outside the window The cheer became even louder this time making Seohyun happy. Her nervousness soon faded away upon hearing the loud cheer from her fans. The lights went on and everyone can see Seohyun smiling to everyone. “Woah! She’s really good!” All of a sudden, she heard someone said behind her. She just doesn’t know exactly who it was but it made her happy. “That's because she’s Seo Joohyun. You know?” Kang HoDong jokingly replied that makes Seohyun chuckle silently.

There were days when the sun was so cruel

That all the tears turned to dust

And I just knew my eyes were

Drying up forever Her smile faded away as she remembers everything that happened in the past as if it just happened yesterday. The memory is still fresh on her mind as if it just all happened yesterday, she felt the familiar pain in her chest again as she remembers everything, how she found out his infidelity and how she lost their child. It hurts her to find out that her husband cheated on her, it pained her even more upon learning that he had a child with her. So she did everything she could to forget him but ended up fooling everyone including herself. She can still remember how she cried every night in America, how she tired herself just to forget him but to no avail. Just when she thought she has moved on, she was wrong.

I finished crying in the instant that you left

And I can't remember where or when or how

And I banished every memory you and I had ever made

The crowd went wild when she hit the high note.

But when you touch me like this

And you hold me like that