Hello,I know you are probably thinking this diary is so stupid for a 19 year old girl to carry but I need this. This diary shows my pure emotions, what I feel like. What exactly is on my mind all the time. Course you wouldnt understand because you all have boyfriends or girlfriends or whatever, while im alone. You have someone to talk to when you get home, or someone to text, am I right? Well I dont have anyone.... Its hard for me to even talk about this.... I cant even.... Explain. My sadness controls my emotions each day. If only you knew what it was like in my shoes, and you think you have it bad. Please... you havent seen my life. Losing both of your parents in a car crash when youre 9? I was placed in a Orphanage because my other family wouldnt take me. I was hated by my family... The only people who actually loved me was my parents and they are gone. So I finally was adopted when I was 12 to Mr. Choi, Mr. Choi who owns a school filled with lots of rich kids. My new dad placed me in that school, I didnt fit in. I had no friends.... I only had enemies, boys who played with my heart and broke it. Finally I abandoned home, I ran away. Wanting to find a better life, wanting to go to a different school. Wanting to feel accepted and loved, I finally ran to the Orphanage again, stayed there till I was 16. While in the Orphanage I started to find my talent. My talent, my own special talent to call my own. For all these years I thought I didnt have one, because I was useless and noone would ever like me. I would never get married and have kids with the man I like.... but my feelings for men changed and I switched to being straight to bi-sexual. People in the orphanage teased me and called me terrible names, so Id always stay in my room the whole day singing and dancing. On my 16th birthday they kicked me out and I was alone on the streets, I tried to look for a job. I saw a sign that said, "SM Auditions." What is that? What is it? Is it a job application? Maybe I should try it out, so I did and I entered the building. Ready to take any chances. After my audition I bumped into a tall man with dark brown hair that made him handsome, he looked down at me and asked if I would like to live with him. I nodded and we went to his house, he is now my only person I can trust. And his name is Choi SiWon. Ill explain more later, Siwon is calling me for dinner.-Choi Zica- ForewordA new story I have been writing,Sorry I havent been on. T^TI had to do well in order to continue being on here, so I did.And now im on here. :3Ill try and update, if I dont. Im sorry. D: I have homework and crap to do. ://Im sorry again, I love you all. :D