Kim Jongin has my heart, but he does not know it.  ForewordFrom me to you, that is usually how our interactions go. Wherever we would be, no matter who else we were with, I would be unconsciously giving -- to who most would view to be a completely undeserving recipient -- you parts of my heart, soul, and everything in between. My other half, the one that steps on the pavement the same way I do, the one whos fingers itch for more side dishes the way I do, the one who insists on listening to the song 11:11 every time 11:11 actually comes along and forces an earphone into my ear. Its difficult for me not to give my heart fully to you, not when you make it so easy to fall in love with you despite the rush of emotions that swallowed me whole with every word that came out of your mouth. Not all of them good. I love you fiercely, passionately, but quietly at the same time, whispered behind cupped palms and eyes that could look nowhere other than you. I didnt have a chance, I never would, not when I want nothing more than to have my heart beat in time with yours. Now sitting across the table and opening a bottle of beer with expert ease, your dark eyes are staring at me curiously, as if you knew that I was thinking of something that I wont ever say to you out loud. No, Im only thinking about you, no big deal. "So what are we doing tomorrow?""It depends, will you be able to wake up before noon?"A short burst of laughter came out of your parted lips, and I couldnt help but to let a silly little smile blossom on my face. Every little exclamation that came out of your mouth sends me reeling, miniscule changes in your expression would illicit a response to an inquiry that has not even been posed out loud yet, the way my eyes flicker down for a split second mid-conversation would cause you to tilt your head to the side, as if silently asking whether anything is wrong, and how when I start to chew on my chopsticks your hand would be halfway up, ready to flag down a waitress to order more beer (or water, depending on the time of day). That is how we work, like one strange entitiy. Whenever others inquire after one they actually mean the both of us, or how a call inviting me to a birthday, hang out, or dinner would mean preparing space for two. Wherever you are, I will be, and whenever my name is mentioned, yours will directly follow. "Yura, I will actually kill you if I miss the movie tomorrow.""Does this mean I have to call you ten times until you wake up again? Jongin, Im not your mothe-" A loud ring accompanied by the familiar vibration buzzing noise interrupted me mid-sentence, causing the two of us to jump a little in surprise. Long fingers snatched the phone off the table and you are out of your seat in a flash, without so much of a word. In a split second you were already on the other side of the bar, walking out into the cold night air and pressing your phone to your ear, discreetly turning your body against the wind to light your third cigarette of the night. Quick as your movements were, my eyes couldnt help but to register the name that flashed across your screen, and I tried my best to stop my heart falling all the way down to my navel. Jagi~ ♡My trembling fingers tipped a whole shot of soju down my throat, an attempt to calm my frantic heart.   warnings: swearing, underage drinking, underage smoking(DISCLAIMER) I do not own Kim Jongin / Kai of EXO nor the rest of the celebrities that might be mentioned. The plot, the original characters, and writing are all mine.