The silence is killing me. I feel as if Ive lost all my senses. I cant hear anything, I cant see and I cant feel. I feel numb, so numb that every movement actually hurts. Why am I so hopeless? Why cant I do anything, anything to... to keep you with me?So.... yes, Ive spent here few months being only silent (or less silent) reader and now I  decided to try and write a story myself. Ive written many stories before but this is my first experience in writing in English. And also my first fanfiction about eunhae. English is not my first language but I hope I will do well. So please, be considerate about any typos and mistakes. Thank you :)I should be studying to my exams but...oh well, I already lost my life somewhere halfway to Korea.  :DOh and the story will be written from Hyuks POV ;)P.S. The title is an idea of my friend, Materialistic   ForewordI have always considered myself an independent person. I never had problem with being alone, with spending time on my own. I would practice by myself because I knew that it was the best way to truly learn something. Without anybody nagging at me or distracting me from the thing I poured all of me into. But all of it is the past now. Because I had realized something and that realization changed everything in my life. Because I realized that I love you so much that I’m suffocating when you’re not around. That every minute without you has no sense because you are my everything. And if somebody asked me what is my biggest fear I would say without any hestitation that it’s the fear of losing you. This love is already so complicated and difficult, I can’t spend every second of my life with you like I would like to and it already drives me crazy. Spending one day without you is hard, how could I spend the rest of my life like this? This wouldn’t be life anymore. Because my life is you. And if you leave then I would not be living anymore. Because I’m dependent on you. Because I’m holding on to you and I will always will, with all I have.