And when it was filled up enough, I stripped myself. Then I held the razorblade to my wrists, right on the vein and I let it bleed. I grit my teeth, stepping into the bath. I closed my eyes and a dreamt. I dreamt about my life would have gone if I looked like my sister. I had my husband with me again and we had a little girl. Someone lifted me out of the bath, I don’t know who but I remembered hearing voices. “Yongguk, there’s someone in the bathroom, I’m going to go check it out,” “YONGGUK CALL 911!”  “We’re going to be late for the photoshoot, Jongup, DEAR GOD. IS SHE ALIVE?” “SHE WON’T BE IF YOU KEEP FUCKING STANDING THERE CALL AN AMBULANCE AND GET ME A TOWEL.”  “Marques...” Marques smiles at me, takes the little girl and walks away with waitress. He was leaving me again- he was leaving me again and I couldn’t even have him in my dreams.                             “Marques please don’t leave me.”  ForewordYongguk looks at Jongup, who’s holding the girl’s hand. “Jongup we gotta go man. We’ve got rehearsal,” “I’ll come soon, tell everybody I’m coming.”