Book of Life (1/1)

Hongki wished he lived in some kind of fairy tale, of one of the beautifully written story with a happy ending. He wished he was one of the protagonist, or probably a side role, with Jonghun as protagonist, ready to play the beautifully written ending. If remained as if. No, Hongki lived in the reality, where there was no justice, where there was no specific role. Everyone capable of became the protagonist and there was no author. Each of them was the author. In this world, even the author sometimes did not write the way they wanted, just like Jonghun.It did not become easy after that.  There was not much Hongki could do than stayed aside, watching as Jonghun slowly threw away his dream, killing himself slowly each time. There was no word of consolation Hongki could offer as Jonghun once again shouldered up a burden called reality. Hongki could only watch as Jonghun packed all his stuff and Haeri’s from Daehan’s apartment. The businessman never asked the siblings to move out but his separation from their mother automatically made that choice for them. Jonghun would reach legal age in few months but there still not much he could do for Haeri. The fact was another huge blow that messed Jonghun apart.After several nights in the designer dim room, where Jonghun wordlessly slipped under the blanket and lied next to the older, Hongki could not help but angry. As he saw how Jonghun looked at him outside of his door, hand clutching Haeri’s, Hongki felt sick in the stomach. Each time passed and Hongki could see how all of this ate Jonghun alive. The younger never let out his opinion about the situation. He even assured Hongki, saying that it was not the first time for him to face this kind of situation. He used to take care of himself and Haeri, Minja used to neglect them and it was not new. “You don’t have to worry about it,” he had said to Hongki. But this was the first time Jonghun had to throw away his dream, his source of solace. Hongki finally cried that night. He cried on Jonghun’s chest. Jonghun did not cry. He never cried again after that day in his room at Daehan’s apartment. He did not cry again, but the kaleidoscope Hongki saw in his eyes was gone. The innocent light that Hongki used to see was nowhere in sight. Jonghun’s eyes were empty, dull. Hongki cried for Jonghun, because Jonghun never cried.At that several nights of Jonghun came to his bed, held him as if his life depended on it, Hongki realized he did not want this reality. He hated this reality. He despised reality where Jonghun could not write the only thing he really wanted, even after gave up on anything else. He loathed this reality where the most deserved happy ending did not come. All of these thought keeping him from falling asleep, just like tonight. Hongki was tired. Nothing was right at his office earlier. He did not get enough sleep these past days that a couple shut eye time was highly appreciated, but no, he could not. The designer sighed, shifted to get more comfortable position. “Can’t sleep?” murmured the equally tired voice on his ear. The arm that placed under his neck shifted to pull him closer to the warm body. Had the act done on earlier month, Hongki would dismiss it, but this time, Hongki just allowed himself to be pulled closer. He rested his head on Jonghun’s chest, where the steady heartbeat thumped right on his ear. He let out a noncommittal sound as an answer and brought his own arm to curl around Jonghun’s mid. By now the act that he mustered still left a bitter taste of guilty. Hongki could not help but feel as if he was an addict. He was addicted to Jonghun, from the way he touched on Hongki’s skin, to the way his presence lingered. Jonghun was a drug. Hongki craved a dose of him although it messed him apart. Just like a moth that drawn to the brightest fire and then burnt. Hongki did not want to think about the lump on his throat, also not about the twist on his heart. He wanted to bask in the solace of Jonghun, although it tore him apart at the same time. “Why don’t you sleep either?” Hongki questioned. “You must be tired from working today.” Any other time Hongki would like to bring up the fact that Jonghun worked too much. He worked overtime almost every time he went to work and sometimes he took more than twice a week. He would get home overly exhausted. He only barely kept his eyes open to take a shower and checked on Haeri at the guest room before dropped dead on the bed next to Hongki. The designer also did not say anything about Jonghun’s newly habit of sleeping with him. He could not bring it up because it was not only Jonghun that needed to feel them close, he needed it too. “Daehan wants to see me at his office tomorrow,” Jonghun said, nonchalant at the surface but Hongki knew this was what keeping him awake. He popped up his head with his hand to study Jonghun’s expression. “Why?” the designer asked but Jonghun only shrugged. “Will you meet him?”Jonghun did not answer right away this time. After what seemed like careful consideration, Jonghun replied. “Do you want to go with me?” “You want me to go with you?”“Yeah.” Hongki rested his head back to his previous position and hummed an ‘okay’ easily to Jonghun’s request. They did not exchange any word after that and slowly, Jonghun’s breath became steady that it lulled Hongki to sleep. The next morning came in a flash. It was a blur until it was the time for them to meet with Daehan. Jonghun dropped Haeri to school first and then he went back to stay at Hongki’s apartment until it was time assigned for them to meet Daehan at 10. The result of lack of sleep and the tension started showing its effect when Hongki felt his nerves went haywire. He was never good at handle pressure and there was a lot of pressure, not because he would accompany Jonghun to see Daehan (the younger would be the one to worry about that part) but because he had so much work to do but he casted it all out and took a day off today. He could never concentrate at his work too if he decided otherwise. That was also why Hongki allowed Jonghun to take the wheel, something his reasonable mind would not allow. “It’s school day,” Hongki picked, scrunched his nose in dissatisfaction. When Jonghun only spared him a side way glance, he continued. “You’re skipping school.”“It’s work day.”“Yeah, so we both ditch our responsibility.” Hongki did not even turn on his phone. That was the only conversation they streaked until Jonghun pulled away on the parking lot of Daehan’s company. Hongki could not help but study the building. He knew Daehan was loaded but he did not know he was this loaded. With his startling bright red hair and oversized coat, Hongki felt like he was out of place in the middle of people wore neat business attire. A professional looking secretary motioned both Hongki and Jonghun to enter the space, secluded room where Daehan was. She told them that Daehan was already waiting for them. “Jonghun,” Daehan greeted in relief. “Hongki,” he said to the older of the two, looking grateful for his presence. Hongki smiled at him. “I almost lost hope,” the business man said mostly to Jonghun when he gestured them to take a seat in front of his wooden desk. “What do you want?” Jonghun asked in the same bitten tone he used on Hongki that day on Daehan’s apartment. Hongki almost flinched as the memory of that day slipped into his mind, but then again, if he heard closely, he would find it, the brittle tone underlying. Daehan did not take it personally. He sat behind the table and crossed his hands together. “I want to make a deal with you and asking for your permission.”Jonghun did not say anything, but he also did not walk away, which was a good sign. Daehan smiled wistfully. “I’ve think about our situation a lot and I’m sorry but I will place you to make a decision as an adult,” he started and out of nowhere, he dropped the bomb. “I would like your permission to adopt both you and Haeri.”Jonghun did not look impressed and blurted it out before Hongki could stop him. “You can’t. You’re not married with her.” “Lawfully, yes, I don’t have any right to adopt you two, but we can take this matter to our hands and negotiate it with your mother.”The youngest on the room snorted. “Yeah, right.”“I can offer her-““Do you know why I stay with her even after what she did to Haeri?” Jonghun snapped, cut Daehan in the middle. “That’s because she never let us go. One day she woke up and realized that abandoned us is not enough payback to my father for leaving her alone. She realized that it would at least settle the score if she could have me wrapped around her fingers. She gets off from that!”None of the adults could utter any reply right after because those sentences that Jonghun let out sounded raw and bitter, yet perfectly recited, as if the younger heard it thousand times. His breath was raging and his knuckles turned white from how tight the fist he balled. Jonghun was about to snap another things but he stopped midway when he felt Hongki’s slender hand covered his tightly fisted one. Jonghun turned to look at him and caught the elder eyes on him. Hongki did not say anything. He only looked at Jonghun with unwavering gaze. The look on his eyes was enough to lessen the angry knot on his chest. Jonghun exhaled but started to relax his rigid posture. His fist unclasped and Hongki slid his hand into the tiny gap in between to hold his hand. The feeling of Hongki’s hand in his was enough for Jonghun to gain his composure back. “I know the odds are against us, but I would like to try this, Jonghun. I want to try anything for both of you.”Jonghun did not utter anything long after that. The loose grip he gave Hongki was the only sign he still there, paying attention to the conversation unfolded. No one knew how many time passed until Jonghun finally muttered a soft, almost inaudible question. “Why?” Daehan smiled at that. “Is it that hard to believe that there are people genuinely care for you?” It was. The business man coaxed Jonghun to put his trust on him one more time, to allow him to at least try. After long persuading, Jonghun finally nodded. It was a hesitant nod but it was an agreement nonetheless. Right after he got Jonghun’s consent, Daehan began to brief them about what he would ask from Minja. He skimmed about it a lot, but never talked about what he would offer in exchange. He just brushed it off, telling them that it was his part and just left it to him. Hongki could not help but worry about that and if he was worried, he imagined Jonghun would be much worse. Jonghun did, but he did not reveal anything until later at night. Buried under Hongki’s fluffy blanket, on his bed, he voiced out. “Are you like that too?”Sitting next to him on the bed, Hongki averted his gaze from the laptop on his lap to pay attention at the younger. He nudged the glasses so it perched higher on his nose. “Like what?”“Genuinely care about me.”Hongki softened immediately. “I am.”Jonghun averted his eyes from the older. It probably just the light but Hongki could see a faint blush crept on Jonghun’s ears, down to his neck. The endearing sight brought smile to Hongki’s lips. Jonghun trailed his eyes back at Hongki and said something hesitantly that it turned into question instead.“But it’s not love?”There was a short pause before the reply came. “It is.”   Written By: Honey JuneNow I'm pretty sure there's one chapter adnd epilogue left for this story. Thank you for all of you that faithfully read this story up to this point. I know I'm not one best and diligent author out there, but please read and stay with me until the end. See yaa soon