Chapter 13 (1/1)

You know I’m not very good at this feelings stuff, but neither are you, so I guess that’s a plus. At least you understand that part of me instinctively. I don’t even know why I’m writing this note, honestly. My hands are shaky and sweaty for some reason.I’m not good with words unless they have music going along with them. So I made this for you, and I hope you get what I’m trying to convey. I wrote two songs on the new album for you. I think they’ll mean much more than any love songs I’d written before.Don’t let anyone else hear this before next Saturday, okay?~~~“Daddy?”The girl spun around frantically, looking for the familiar figure that she had arrived at the playground with.But after thorough investigation, it appeared that he had left her there alone.Defeated, coming to the conclusion that he’d left her there on purpose, she plopped down on her butt down next to the slide, too young to figure out what to do and could simply only see surrendering to defeat.She was just a little girl that knew nothing of the world. She dreamed of independence but knew she still needed her father, regardless of whether or not she wanted that need.“Hey.”She startled suddenly and looked up at the voice next to her, eyes scanning over a young boy around her age, with strangely colored blonde hair. His skin was pale and his coffee brown eyes were deeper than they should have been for a kid.“What’s wrong?” He asked, his high voice unbelievably familiar to her, though she could not place why. He felt safe; he felt like home.“My daddy left me here.” She pouted with a sniff.The young boy raised an eyebrow, skeptical.“Why would he do that?”“Because he doesn’t like me.” She replied simply.The boy was silent for a few beats before he sat down next to her.“That’s stupid.” He stated flatly, almost making her want to laugh at the straightforward statement.“Come with me, then. Don’t stay here alone.”“Huh? But I don’t know you.” She responded skeptically.“Yeah you do.” He declared flatly.“Yoongi, stop with this—”She stopped immediately when she realized she’d said his name, looking over at him in surprise.“C’mon, I’ll keep you safe.” He stood up and held his hand out, waiting for her to accept it.She faltered, hesitating for a few minutes, afraid to trust him.What if he made empty promises too, just like her father?But he just stood there, waiting, until she was ready to accept him.And then finally, as the sun began to set, she timidly reached for his hand, and placed hers into his palm.He smiled and tightened the hold on her, pulling her to her feet and steadying her as she stumbled.A squeak left her as she reached her free hand to grip onto his shirt, scared that she’d fall.“I got you, don’t worry.” He reassured as he kept her on her feet.“Let’s go home, Yujin-ah.”~~~“Yoongi—”I shot up in my bed, eyes wide and breath short as I snapped awake.My mind whirled as I reached a hand up to grip onto my messy hair, trying to get my bearings.I’d been having the same dream over and over the past week, always waking up in the middle of the night.And I’d been saying his name every time.I hadn’t told anyone about the mixtape he’d made me. Mostly because I knew once Jieun had knowledge of it, she’d insist on hearing the songs he had told me not to share with anyone.I was so touched that I laid on my floor and cried silently for god knows how long. I was so overwhelmed with relief at the confirmation of his feelings and the security he was trying to provide me.But the problem was, I didn’t know how to react with him. I didn’t know where to go from here. I’d never done this before, and that scared me. I always knew the answer, but I felt powerless when I was clueless at the vulnerability of the lack of experience and emotions attached to the whole situation.I was startled out of my own world at the sound of my phone ringing, squinting at the bright light that illuminated from it. It was 1am, and Yoongi was calling.Wait… Yoongi was calling?“Hello?”“I didn’t wake you up, did I?” He asked, voice quieter than usual.“No, I was up.” I lied, immediately shooting up and darting to my closet, assuming that something terrible had happened if he was calling me this late.“Good. Come here. I’m outside.” He huffed shortly. I stopped at that, not sure how to process his words.“You’re what?” I choked out, frantically slipping on a pair of sweatpants that barely stayed up on my hips.“Look out your window.”Scrunching my face in confusion, I went over to my window and pulled back the blinds, looking down and seeing a flash of mint hair as he moved to look up at me.I felt my breath catch in my throat at the sight, suddenly wide awake at the sight of the boy standing outside my window, feeling like I was in some kind of cheesy romantic movie.But I loved it.“I’ll be right there.”I quickly grabbed a hoodie from my closet and slung it on, grabbing my wallet and apartment keys and putting them in my sweatpants pocket before quietly slipping out of my room.I shut my apartment door as quietly as possible, locking it and tip-toeing my way down the stairs, since I knew Jieun’s room was right on the other side of the staircase wall.I quickly jogged over to where he was, realizing the moment I saw him that I had no idea what I was doing or how I was going to handle this situation.“7/10 on the score for this charade. The lack of throwing rocks against my window really deducted from your score.” The sarcastic comment came spilling out of my lips before I had even realized what I said.“Ah, c’mon, really? That’s too cliche I could have sworn I’d have gotten more points for not doing it.” He argued back, making me giggle.“I’m hungry, let’s go get something.” He prompted with a light smile, reaching his hand out for me to take.The familiar gesture made a memory flash through my mind, eyes scanning over Yoongi’s adult face. My mind instantly flashed back to the reoccurring dream I’d been having all week, child Yoongi reaching out toward me the same way he was now.And I was frozen.But just like the dream, he said nothing, and simply waited for me to accept him.So I finally snapped out of it and reached for his hand, allowing him to take hold and lace his fingers though mine as he pulled me to his side.I could practically feel the smile stretched across his face at my acceptance. His hand was so warm, I could have sworn I felt the heat from it creeping up my arm into my chest.We were both silent on the walk to a nearby convenience store, his hand never loosening its grip on mine.“What do you want?” He asked as he pulled me along the isles of the store, our hands still tightly wound together.“Coffee.” I responded simply, feeling that the hoodie I had thrown on wasn’t enough to keep me warm in the chill outside.“Coffee?” He chuckled, turning and giving me a skeptical look at he let out a snort. “You will never sleep if you drink coffee at this hour.”“Yes I will. Don’t doubt my abilities, pabo.” I shot back instinctively at his criticism. He laughed louder at my retort.“You really are something. Okay, I’ll get you a coffee. But I’m getting you a snack too.”I didn’t fight him and just followed along, not even arguing as he insisted on paying, something I almost always did. His grip on my hand had dropped as more and more items piled up in his arms, before he proceeded to spill it all on the counter of the clearly space out clerk at the check out counter.“You’re letting me treat you without protest? Are you still half asleep?” He teased as we left the convenience store.“Don’t push it. Do you want me to argue with you? Because I will if you’re gonna be like that.” I shot back, discreetly reaching for his free hand, wanting to feel that warmth that I had lost.He didn’t say anything, just simply chuckled and turned to face the other way as he allowed me to grip onto his hand, lacing his fingers through mine.“Hey, let’s go over there.” He suggested after a few minutes of us walking, pointing over toward an abandoned public playground.I blinked in surprise but allowed him to pull me toward it, watching as he handed me the bag full of our goodies and climbed up onto the top of the jungle gym.“Wow, I didn’t think a sloth like you had the muscle mass to pull that off.” I snorted as he reached down to take the bag from me.“I’m full of surprises, much like you, ms. initiating-physical-contact.” He short back with a smirk, making me gape and let out an annoyed huff at him.“Stop using my moments of weakness against me!” I barked out, my cheeks going bright red at his statement.“That wasn’t the first time you did, just so you know.” He chuckled, before turning back and holding his hand out to me once again to help pull me up.How many times is that hand going to be extended out to me? Is he going to keep subtly reminding me with these gestures constantly?Still, I took his hand and used the free one to help pull myself up on the cold, metal bars.I settled next to him and pulled the sleeves of my hoodie over my hands as he handed me the warm coffee, fetching himself a warm tea that he had gotten for himself.I let out a sigh as I took a sip of the hot liquid, feeling relief at the heat it provided me.“Look.” Yoongi said simply, pointing up toward the sky. Without saying anything I looked up, seeing that the stars looked surprisingly bright tonight.“Ah. You rarely see stars that bright in Seoul.” I responded with a chuckle, taking another sip of my coffee.“Yeah. Its pretty.” He mumbled back, a comfortable silence falling over us after.It was strange, I thought that I would have been a complete nervous wreck around him after the confession in the form of a mixtape. But I felt at peace next to him, and it seemed that he did not plan on pushing the issue.It startled me a little how calm I was. It was almost like being with him just came naturally and automatic.“Are you cold?” He asked after a few minutes, turning his gaze back to me.“A little. The coffee helps, though.” I replied honestly.“C’mere.”He unzipped his hoodie and gestured me closer, and I felt goosebumps appear on my arms as I timidly scooted closer to him, allowing him to drape it over my left shoulder. I took my side and pulled it against myself, squishing me closer to his body so we could zip it back up.“Better?” He asked tenderly, a sweet voice I had rarely ever heard him use.“Yeah.” I conceded, allowing myself